I am having trouble understanding the intentions of a female co-worker... Please let me explain:

I will soon be divorced. The co-worker is married. Since she found out that I will be getting divorced, she has been very nice, cordial, talks sweetly, asks how I have been doing, and smiles at me whenever I have face to face converstions with her. Today, she asked me to have lunch with her the next time I am over in her office. We work in different offices.

I don't know what to make of this. Is she just wanting to be a supportive friend or does she have something else in mind? I like her and find her attractive but I also respect the fact that she is married and I don't want to do the wrong thing. I would be very flattered if there is an attraction, but I would also be very cautious if that is the case. If it is just a desire for innocent friendship and nothing else, that would be ok, too, but at the same time, I would not want to start people or her husband to getting the wrong impression.

Please help me to better understand what is going on here and what I should do.

Daniel

The concerns you have are all legitimate. Having lunch with her may answer most of your questions. At least then we both wouldn't have to guess at just what her intentions are!

I would be interested to know how lunch goes, please let me know and then I will have a clearer idea of what direction would be best for you.

there's this one guy at school with me
i drive him to and from school
he's really sweet and i have this huge crush on him
i came out one day and told him and i said" well its your turn i made my move now its your turn,"
he told my friend that he wanted to be friends with me for now!
i don't understand that?
i mean when we are in the car my friends that sit in the back notice him smiling and looking at me and he flirts like
crazy
why won't he date me?
help me please

Karen

Only he has the answer to that, you have done your part. Now work on realizing that you may just be friends with him.

There's this absolutely stunning beauty at work who appears to be interested in me. I'm about to turn 27 and she looks close to 32. Our offices are just a few feet apart and every time she passes by, she waves at me and flashes me a flirtatious smile. After a while, I couldn't resist it any longer and asked her out to lunch. Guess what? She brought a friend along! I took that to mean she's not interested in me but the flirting hasn't stopped - if anything, it has intensified. Am I reading her wrongly or am I being too timid here? I'm usually very bold when it comes to asking a woman out but I'm somewhat reluctant to pursue her relentlessly probably because I feel she's too old for me. How can I ascertain what she's looking for?

Eric

First, age difference in any relationship is only an issue if you make it to be. Second, her action of inviting a friend could mean many things, including that she was too nervous to be alone with you. If you are still interested in her I suggest you ask her out for a movie or dinner. Her response to this will give you a clearer idea of where to go with this relationship.

.

I've been single for 10 years, divorced for 4 really. I have not had much luck dating as the area is not conducive to meeting men or I am just doing a poor job. My ex is having the time of his life with a young woman and I sit at home just like when we were married. I do many things in clubs, with girlfriends, but really seek companionship with a man.

I met a guy who lost his wife after a long battle with cancer. I made the initial call 4 months after her death to see if he'd like to get together. We did and we have seen each other about 6 times. He is very polite, courteous, and friendly but is out of town every other week for his job. I see him once in the time is in in town for a week. I would like to see him more and am truly attracted to him and have only had a short kiss good night and hugs. So.....should I ask for 'more time' together, and will I ever get past the short kiss. I'm dying here. Should I just enjoy the time together, and let him grieve...or ask for more. It's been 4 months of short conversations, e'mails and dates. ????

Marsha

I suggest the next time you are with him that you ask him where he is in the grief process. We all grieve differently, and please understand the many reasons for him to keep a distance can include everything from fear of being hurt to impotence. Don't expect him to tell you the REAL issues, but at least you should have an idea from his response what he is looking for. I wish I could give you the answer to this one, but he's the only one that knows.