A regular advice column published monthly in Singles Network, a publication for singles of all ages in the metro Denver, Colorado area.

Dear Linda,

I am male, 27 years old. I believe myself an expert in reading women's minds. For me flirting is second nature, I can talk with any women just like that hours together. I can even advise my friends how to approach a girl. I can know exactly what happens in their mind.

But why I am writting this letter is I am incredibly bored in companionships of women. Can you tell me how to flirt with women without getting bored? thank you...

Dear Luis,

You have two choices. Find out if YOU are boring, or look for women in different environments than you currently are.

Dear Linda,

I am 37 years old, a single mom of two boys, 5 and 3 years old. I have a career and own my own home. My father was mentally and verbally abusive, my mother was loving and affectionate, but very angry. I was married at 20, which ended up in divorce. We just were not meant for each other.mMy next relationship lasted months longer than it should have. He is the father of my two children. I have been apart from him for almost 3 years, we were together 5.

I am now involved with someone for almost 5 months. He is 30 years old, divorced with 3 children who live 12 hours away, holds a steady job, and seems to be responsible. His family has welcomed me in their home and have commented on how much he has changed (for the better) since we have been together. We have much in common, we love to read, write, we like similar activities. We have one major difficulty in our relationship that I need help with trying to sort out. He is an ex-marine who fought in Desert Storm. His training was mentally abusive. He is a different person I am told than before he went to the military. He is rough and rugged, he can be unaffectionate at times, and cold and has no time for emotions. It seems like everything is a mission to him. He feels that he is 'boss' and he is in charge of everything.

I am the opposite in that respect. I am soft, gentle and very emotional. He tells me that I jump from one emotion to another too quickly and he cannot keep up with that and that it is nuts, that I need to curb it. He suffers from nightmares from being in the war, I take the time to comfort him. If I am upset about something, he tells me that I am being far too emotional. I call him and send e-mails to save money, he rarely reciprocates as he says that he will see me soon anyway, but on the occasional e-mail he tells me how awesome I am. I have looked after his children for him on more than one occasion, I have comforted him, I have cooked for him, I have looked after him, I have lent him money. We also have a good sexual relationship.

Am I with a male chauvinist or a dominating male, as this relationship seems a little one-sided at times? He has told me that the male in a relationship is the boss. In the first few months of our relationship, he was affectionate, now it is only when we make love, he rarely speaks of how he feels about our relationship except when he is telling me lately that I am too emotional, but reassures me that he still feels the same about me as he has previously told me, if that changes he will be sure to let me know. We spent this last weekend together taking his children back to their home state and had a few disagreements about my emotions, we left each other very unsure about our relationship.

I thought that when you truly loved someone, you showed them love by actions and words. From what I have told you, am I expecting too much from the relationship, do I sound nuts? I am very confused. I would appreciate any advice that you have.

Dear Jenn,

Dear Linda,

I need some advice on men who have children. I meet a man a year and six months ago. He talks about getting married but he is awful with money, so he will never be able to save up enough. But ever since we meet I have realized that he loves to call phone sex. I have paid off bills for over $1,000 for him, which he did pay me back. But now that all the debt is gone, he is telling me that he does not want to be pushed into a marriage because he got another woman pregrant. So, he calls phone sex, then he does not have the need to have sex with me. I hate the phone sex, and last night I found out that he did it again and he promises me that he will quit, but then he told me that he does it because of the child thing. His budget is already maxed, and he could not afford more child support. He always tells me different things when it comes to the phone sex, it is a phase, it is wrong and a waste of money, but then he does it. I tell him we can just fool around but it always leads to sex. So, last night I told him I we will not have sex any more and I will not make him feel bad for it. But, I do not know if that is just antoher excuse. He has been doing this for years, and it is a big way, in which he got into debt.

I understand men need to do their thing, but this is so costly. I tell him to watch moives or look at magazines, I just do not think I can handle this anymore. I feel like he is cheating on me. I love him more than anything and I want to spend the rest of my life with this man, but is he an addict to phone sex. He tells me he is not, but he waste all his spending money on it and then he ask me for money from the bills and I tell him there is no money, we paid all the bills and now he has no gas money because he spent it on phone sex but he can not tell me that, but I know. Then he is silent and mean to me, because he feels like I am controling his life. He is awful with his bills, so I do them for him, and I refuse to let him get in control again so I pay everything. He is ashamed of this and that is why he becomes mean to me, but when I try to talk to him he says it is a male thing.

I am so confused!! Please help me with some advice!!!

Dear Connie,

The one who is being controlled is you. He's using a technique called "projection" . This is when a person displaces their own negative behavior onto someone else in order to not have to take responsibility for themselves. He has serious problems and I suggest that you tell him you do not want to be an enabler. In other words, the more you allow him to continue his behavior and by giving him money you are holding him back. It would be in your best interest to let him know you would like him to take a break, and call you when he has things under control.