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A regular advice column published monthly in Singles Network, a publication for singles of all ages in the metro Denver, Colorado area. 
Dear Linda, There's a girl that seems to be interested in me. I mainly see her on weekends at a restaurant, but sometimes I get to see her at the same place on weekdays (But only for a few minutes) since when I go to work, she arrives. Previously, I've made an attempt to ask her out and she only replied to me that she couldn't go out with me, so I stopped flirting at her. However, about a month and a half ago, she started looking at me and, whenever we make eye contact, she throws a big smile at me and turns her eyes to another place. Since she did some things that were clearly a flirt to me, I decided to try my luck with her again. So far we've had some short conversations and I gave her some small gifts (chocolates, candies and a "get well" card because she had a cold during these days). When we are talking, she's always smiling and looking at my eyes. However, on last Friday I asked her out to have a coffee and talk and she said no because her boyfriend would get angry. However, while she said that, she always looked at my eyes and smiled at me. On these two following days, she stills says hello to me and smiles at me just as she have been doing on the previous month. At this moment, I'm unsure on what to do and that's why I'm writing you, so that if you please could give me an opinion and/or advise on this issue. Should I try again? Do you think she just wants to play games with me? Thanks a lot in advance. Mickey Dear Mickey, One way to find out if she is playing with you is to ask her how long she's had this boyfriend, and how serious is it? Her response will give you the information you need to know which direction to go. Dear Linda, I have been told for years, that as long as I appear needy, I will not be able to have a meaningful and fullfilling relationship. How do you not appear needy, when you are so lonely? Reba Dear Reba, What you have been told is true. I have questions for you; do you feel that if you met YOU that you would find yourself interesting, do you think you are a valuable person who has something to offer, do you enjoy your own company, and finally, do you truly love yourself? My book How to Flirt can help you if you are not sure of positive answers to these questions. Neediness comes from feeling a void which unfortunately many try to externalize and have others fill for them. When you work on areas of lack of self worth, your neediness will subside and you will attract healthy people into your life. Dear Linda, I need some help. I want to know a girl better, but she is always avoiding
me. We used to be real good friends but now we hardly know each other
and just say hi once in a blue moon. I need some help from a woman's point
of view to help me understand what is going on and what Ishould do. Josh Dear Josh, One thing we can not do is control other peoples' behavior. If she is avoiding you, realize that this is not something for you to pursue. You deserve to be with people who can appreciate you. It's time to move on. Dear Linda, I am 23 years old and a Senior in college. I have never had a boyfriend. I don't really know how to meet guys. I am an early childhood education major and I am sick of people saying "well after college you will meet someone." I can't take seeing my friends get doted on by their boyfriends. I am also sick of hearing "this is the time to find yourself." I know how others see single people. My question is how the hell can i find someone? Ginnie Dear Ginnie, To begin with, how many times
a day do you tell yourself that you are a worthy, beautiful person who
deserves the best in life? If you aren't at this time, I suggest you tell
yourself that at least ten times a day, and look in the mirror when you
do. Listen to your friends, this may very well be "the time to find
yourself", they see you differently than you see yourself. If you
don't love yourself, how can you expect someone else to? |
Send your questions by email to Linda and
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