A regular advice column published monthly in Singles Network, a publication for singles of all ages in the metro Denver, Colorado area.

Dear Linda,

I have liked this co-worker of mine for years now. The problem of why I have never taken the initiative to ask him out is because I am 23 and he is 37. Would it ever work? Also, I really am not sure that I am getting vibes from him that he feels the same way that I do about him. Can I have some advice on how to tell if he likes me?

Crushing

Dear Crushing,

I don't see age as the issue here. The fact that you aren't sure he feels about you as you do about him is the main point. It sounds as though you have attempted to let him know how you feel, and he has not responded. Stay friends, and if it is to be more, let him make the effort. I suggest you focus your efforts in a new direction that has more positive energy.

Dear Linda,

I am a single mother and for the past 3 years my toddler has gone to the same doctor. I see him about 2 times a year and he is really nice and all the nurses always say "he's such a sweetheart". Now he hasn't ever said anything to make me think he really likes me but every time I'm around him I feel this chemistry. He stares at me a lot and he always accidently brushes his hand accross mine. I'm just really nervous around him and I feel the chemistry. He is young and he probably hasn't been a MD for too long. My child is on a medical card so he knows I must be low income. And he is very cute. So what would he want with me? I've never seen him wear a wedding ring.

My daughter has to go back to him in 2 weeks and this time, for the very first time I'll be alone with him without my mother or my ex boyfriend (baby's father). I feel like I need to find a way to flirt with him because he isn't going to. Maybe he can't since he is my child's doctor. Maybe it's just my imagination, I couldn't imagine why a man like him would like me. Please keep in mind I am shy and I fear rejection and he is a great doctor so I wouldn't want to do anything to look stupid.

Please tell me how to flirt with him. Even my ex boyfriend said he gets the feeling that we like each other. I don't like him just because he is a doctor and he is so nice. I wouldn't like him if I didn't think he likes me.I hope you can answer my question before her appointment. Thanks for any advice your great.

Beth

Dear Beth,

When you see the doctor and make conversation, ask him if he has any children of his own. From his answer, you will know which direction to go. His response to you, whether he has children or not will offer indications as to if he is willing to discuss personal issues with you. When people respond quickly and with finality, they don't want to pursue the subject, let them ask the next question. And, remember, silence is O.K.

Dear Linda,

I have been married two times and both marriages were bad in that there was no friendship in the marriages they were just physical attractions and after a while that went away. I had children by both marriages and loved my children dearly. I have custody of the children from my 2nd marriage. I love them both dearly as they were abused by there mother.

Now that you have some background, I have met a wonderful person whom I am enjoy. She was married for 17 years to a man whom did not love her, besides being a sexual pervert he was not good to her. She was adopted as a baby and her adopted father and mother never showed love to her. Her grandmother on her adopted father side hated her and her brothers and sisters because they were adopted. She has never had love shown to her. She has 4 children whom she does love. Now I come along. I treat her like a lady, taking her to places she has never been. Loving her children and of course letting her now how much I care and love her.

We are good friends she is afraid to get "Romantic" because she does not want to hurt me. So we do not kiss, hold hands. We hug and I mean we hug a lot. She says she likes me a lot and really enjoys being with me. She says she has not felt the lightening and thunder when we go out or when she is with me. I tell her it does not matter it will come. I think she is afraid because she has never been loved especially by a man. Please advise because I love this woman, her children and I would like to make her my wife. She is the first women I have ever had a Friendship relationship with.

Stan

Dear Stan,

You sound like a man who has a lot to offer. From what you have told me, it sounds like you are attracted to women who NEED you, which may be why you have been unsuccessful with healthy relationships in the past. Now, you have found a woman who you think needs you, but isn't sure that she does. If you are sincere about your feelings for her I suggest that you find a good therapist to counsel you both individually and together. If she is unwilling to do this, then she is making it clear that she not ready for anything romantic with you and I hope you will respect that.