My question concerns something that has bothered me for quite awhile. I'm a very attractive, intelligent, outgoing 21-year-old with lots of friends . . . but I've never been in a serious relationship. Should I be concerned? I've dated casually some in the past, but it's never been anything long-term, not even what I would term as a "boyfriend." I get lots of male attention when I'm out in public, but no one I'm really interested in ever seems to be interested in me, and I'm not into dating random strangers that approach me on the street. Some of my girlfriends have said I intimidate men with my looks and intelligence, but I thought these qualities are what should be attractive to them. Could I be doing something wrong? The older I get, the more I start to worry - a lot of my friends are starting to settle down and I fear this will never happen for me. Please help!

Gina

It could be that you intimidate men, it also could be that you are not approachable. By that I mean, understandably, men fear rejection. If they sense that you are unavailable, they will not approach you. If you make eye contact, smile and ask them a question, you will be generating a lot more activity. My book How to Flirt has many good suggestions for making people comfortable to be around you. Good luck.

I have met this guy and I really like him. He wanted to sleep with me. But I am still a virgin, and I am not sure if I should let him know, because my friends told me men don't like to have sex with a virgin.

What should I do? Please help.

Nikki

I think it is important for you to tell him, and if this is a problem for him, he will let you know. I never heard that men don't like virgins. Take care.

I have been dating my man on and off for 5 months. we knew each other for a year and seven months. i love him to death but he say "that if you want to be back together, stop flirting with other guys." he says he loves me and everthing but he doesn't want to go out with a flirt. soo my question is what is a flirt, and how do i stop?

Barb

It sounds like your flirting has more to do with getting attention. I do not know specifically what your partner doesn't like about your behavior. I suggest that you ask him how he would like for you to change your behavior. If he isn't specific, practice being less friendly.

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How much should women pursue men? Some people (many guys) say go for it, but I am not comfortable with it. Am I not trying hard enough? Isn't it better to subtly suggest interest in a guy rather than coming in for the kill?

Sonia

I don't know how you would define "coming in for the kill" but I would suggest that you approach a man you might be interested in, the same way you would want him to approach you.