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A regular advice column published monthly in Singles Network, a publication for singles of all ages in the metro Denver, Colorado area. 
Dear Linda, About half a year ago, my wife left me to pursue her own career. Since then I have been thinking a lot about our marriage of 7 years. It seemed she never really loved me. Recently she told me that whenever she did something, she always thought she did it for me, and expected me to do similar things in return. On the other hand, I never thought that way. I was working very hard, almost 7 full days a week. I always thought what I did was for the family, and I was willing to work like that unconditionally, never thought about asking anything special from her in return.It seemed that she was always complaining. Whenever she heard some strange ideas, she'd complain that we did not behave as others did. Once we had to spend 2 months in another city due to my work. We could not rent an appropriate apartment for such a short period of time so we stayed in a motel. After we already paid the rent, a newly made friend of hers told her that she moved 4 times in a year, in the same city. My wife then kept complaining to me for about a week. While she was quite casual laughing with other men, she would go nuts if she saw me doing the same with other young women. I am beginning to think that our marriage was a mistake. Actually she said that on several occassions during past arguments. I had always thought she was childish and never took them seriously. Did she give up on me then? She told me she was having a very good time right after she left me, and I did not miss her that much. But recently her father died and her mother was diagnosed with cancer. Now she wants to come back and keeps calling me almost every day, sometimes in the middle of night, to check on me. However, I just keep thinking that the marriage was a mistake. I do not mind if she comes back, but life will never be the same. I have a clearer picture of what type of women is good for me now. In fact, there are such people around me. If my wife comes back, I feel there will always be a part that is void in my life. What should I do? Please help. Are there any others with similar experience? Forgot to mention that I work in a foreign country, and my wife does not like country I work in. Sincerely, Geoffrey
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Dear Geoffrey, I wish I could tell you what
you should do. The only person who really knows, is you. It could be that
the marriage was a mistake and that it would never be right for either
one of you. . |
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Dear Linda, Please give me advice, what
should I do? I am attracted to someone, one actor. I watch all the plays
in the theatre, where he plays. I sent him flowers and a note with my
phone number, but he hasn't called me yet and he won't. But one time in
my life I thought if you want it go for it! Maria
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Dear Maria, You can only do what you have already done. It's O.K. to have infatuations and have a crush on someone. It is important for you to realize that there are many, thousands of reasons why he may not be available. Consider that he might already be deeply in love someone else, he might be gay, etc. Enjoy the feelings you have, and know that if this isn't going to work out with this fellow, you know you can someday feel that way for someone else.
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Dear Linda, I like a manager of a supermarket. I gave him a big smile after I said hi. He said hi and gave me a big smile. I establish eye contact for about 3 - 4 seconds with him, does that mean he likes me? He has also said hello to me in a flirty tone "hhellloo" was that a flirt? Should I ask him, is he married or seeing someone? I have a crush on him. Should I approach him and let him know? Please give me some advice on how to handle this situation. Fran
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Dear Fran, You've done all the right things. And yes, you are right on with asking him if he is available. You could even say something like: "Before I get a crush on you, are you available....I mean are you married or do you have a girlfriend?" Good Luck! |
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Dear Linda, I'm a very attractive 53 year old. Most people think I'm 40 and I act very young. The problem is I've met a guy in my apartment complex and we have spoken while walking our dogs. He seems very nice and I never see anyone around. He's home most of the time. When I first saw him it was like "love at first sight" and I've never felt this way before about anyone. It seems that he is always coming out to walk his dog at the same time I do and he's always watching me. I'm crazy about this guy but some friends say the age difference is just too much and I should move on and others say it doesn't matter. I find that I can't stay away from him and emotionally its bothering me. If he were to ask me out do I bring up the age issue or not mention it until I have to? I think he is getting close to asking me out. If so, should I bring it up or just wait and see what happens? Sandy
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Dear Sandy, You haven't mentioned how old he might be, what if he's 53 and looks 40!! Age is an attitude, if it doesn't matter to the two people involved, then it doesn't make any difference. Just wait to see what happens. |
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