August 2003

I have been interested in a certain guy for a while now. We talk and flirt all the time and it seemed to me as if he was starting to show interest in me as well. Then, suddenly, "Liz" came into the picture. I think she was upset at the attention I was getting from him or maybe she liked him too,but since then all she does is flirt with him. He still shows interest in me, but the interest seems to be shared with Liz. How can I get my attention back and keep it?

Rachel

Learning to love and learning to let go are two of the main lessons I believe we are here to learn. Those of us lucky enough to have children are well aware of this. My point is, if it isn't Liz, it would Jane or Meg or Sarah, etc. If he's a decent man who isn't play games, and he cares for you, he'll be attentive. If you have to "perform" to get his attention you could be on stage the rest of your life, and regret it . I recommend that you be yourself and if you have to let go, then do it.

I want to come across as not hitting on women. Now, I have about a 50% success rate, half the time I'll get a wonderful smile back when walking, walking my dogs, sitting in the airport or shopping, and the other half of the time, people look at me as if I insulted them. I'd like to learn to do better. Your advice, Linda? I'd rather not be someone's comic relief.

Earle

If you are offending half the women you approach, you may be coming on too strong.

Dear Linda,

I am trying to find out if this person was flirting with me. He said to me, "I noticed you a long time ago, you dress very nice and I've always wanted to talk to you, but you have so many walls built around you I never knew how to approach you."

He complimented one of my shirts I was wearing; he said he hears wedding bells (he said it in ear shot of me); he found out where I roller blade and told me that he and his son go there every Saturday at 9:00 am; he told me he cares for me as a person and as Emily. He has called me "sweetie" over the phone; I noticed one day he was staring at me.

I would appreciate some insight into this, I am very confused. I don't know if he truly wants to get to know me better or is just playing with my head.

Emily