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A regular advice column published monthly in Singles Network, a publication for singles of all ages in the metro Denver, Colorado area. 
Dear Linda, I have a six year old son who spends half the time with me. I've met
a woman I really like,and I've been going out with her for about six months.
Her name is Amy, and she's made it clear that she does not want children
and doesn't make much of an effort to be with my son, or get to know him.
Jeremy, my son asked me why she doesn't like him, and when I told her
that, she got very defensive and said she just doesn't like children.
It's so difficult for me to meet someone I care about, I don't want to
break up with her but I don't know what to do.
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Dear Alex, Whenever I get a question concerning a child and a possible partner who may not adapt to an "instant" family I suggest that the parent support the child and let the partner know that the childs welfare is the top priority. If a new partner has trouble with that, there will be a lot more trouble later.
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Dear Linda,
I have been living with Jack for two years. He wants to get married but
I'm nervous because of our lack of communication. When I try to discuss
things with him, he just nods but doesn't offer any information, and nothing
changes. I feel so frustrated. He says he doesn't like to fight, but I'm
just trying to discuss things, and I'm not yelling or anything. He tells
me I'm nagging him.
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Dear Brenda, What Jack is doing is withholding, and that is a passive form of aggression. In fact, Jack is "fighting" in a negatively manipulative way. Let Jack know that you would be willing to get counseling in order to learn better communication skills, but that you will not continue in a non-communicative relationship. Be prepared for him to refuse outside help. My guess is he doesn't think he has a problem. Be prepared to end the relationship.
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Dear Linda, I was married for 20 years. My husband died a year ago and I don't miss him. He was a perfectionist and we only had sex maybe once a month, and it wasn't very good for me. I met Dan six months ago and I can't get enough of him. The sex is fabulous, I didn't know it could be like this. Although I have strong feelings for him, he isn't someone I could marry. In some ways I feel like I'm using him, but it seems to be such a comfortable relationship. I'm feeling guilty because he's telling me how much he loves me, and I can't say it back. Sherry
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Dear Sherry, It's important for you to let him know where he stands. It's not uncommon to go to extremes after feelings of suppression, especially sexually. You can let him know that as long as he's involved with you he isn't allowing himself to be with someone he could have a long term relationship with. If he chooses to stay with you anyway, there is nothing to feel guilty about. Meanwhile, enjoy your new life!
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Dear Linda, I'm engaged to my highschool sweetheart. I've known his family for over 5 years. We're planning to get married in June but lately I'm feeling like I might be in love with his brother. Not that the brother comes on to me or anything, I just can't stop thinking about him. Do you think I should tell him? Lori
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Dear Lori, I suggest that you tell your fiancée that you are feeling confused right now. It would be dangerous for you to enter into a marriage knowing your feelings are as they are. You might also suggest that you have space to sort out your feelings.
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Advice Column ArchivesSend your questions by email to Linda and
watch this page for a reply!
