I have been in love with the same man for 6 years... unfortunately he has either been in another relationship or he is buried in text books. He is a Grad student at the local University. I want to do something this Christmas that is romantic, simple, and leading. I want to come up with a gift that cannot be bought in stores and set up the scene to woo his heart without making him feel trapped but I am clueless on how to flirt. I always come off either too forward or completely disinterested. There is no middle ground with me.

I am 30 and have never been asked out on a date, I always ask. Enoughs, enough. I want this man in my life but I dont want to have to take the bull by the horns. Any advice?

Kathleen

I have been dating my boyfriend for just a couple of months, but I really like him. The problem is that he is a huge flirt. He warned me before that when he gets around women it's just in his nature to flirt. I went out with him and a group of his friends last week, I didn't know anyone there but him. There were also two other women along who he didn't know. My boyfriend spent more time talking and flirting with them then he did with me. Which made it very uncomfortable for me because I didn't know anyone there. Afterwards my boyfriend just said again that it is in his nature to flirt with women. My best friend, who is male, told me that if my boyfriend warned me about it ahead of time, then he knew it was wrong at he should quit flirting with all these women. Is it fair of me to be upset? What should I do?

Tisha

What your boyfriend is really telling you is that he has low self esteem and needs constant reinforcement from others to feel good. Until he gets himself together, you will always be upset. Just because he told you he is a flirt and you should accept it, makes no sense. If he tells you he's a batterer and then beats you, is that O.K.? Give him the space he needs (to flirt) and make yourself available for people who are healthy.