Back Issue of The Upside of Being Single
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ The UPSIDE of BEING SINGLE Issue #003, Jan, 2001 (c)2001 by Selfnurture.com Publisher: Jean Zartner, JeanZartner@Selfnurture.com www.Selfnurture.com ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ For individuals who want to be more loving to self and others. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
IN THIS ISSUE
1. Need a Laugh?: "To some, marriage is..."
2. EXTRA-Special Event for Denver area Also, two Special Deals just for you
3. Tools to Lose the Being Single Blues: "How to Have FUN at a Party (even when you didn't want to go)"
4. The Horrible "Have To's" - and how to avoid them
5. Burning Questions You May Have About Your eZine (and answers beyond your wildest imaginings)
PREFACE (I know, I know - that's usually just for books. But let's make our own rules on this!)
If you live in the DENVER AREA: - Skip the sixth question in the section called "Burning Questions You May Have About Your eZine" - However, DEFINITELY READ the section called "EXTRA-Special Event for Denver area"
If you live ANYWHERE ELSE: - Skip "EXTRA-Special Event for Denver area" - However, DEFINITELY READ the sixth question in "Burning Questions You May Have About Your eZine" ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 1. Need a Laugh?
>From www.punoftheday.com:
- To some, marriage is a word; to others, a sentence.
- Marine biologists like to see a friend or sea anemone.
- A family joker is jest having fun with his elations.
- An elevator makes ghosts happy because it lifts the spirits.
***
Sound bites courtesy of radio deejays:
- Love is blind. But marriage is a real eye-opener.
- Why do they call them APARTments when they're all stuck together?
***
For a list of mirthful movies, go http://www.afionline.org/100laughs/laughframe.asp?gid=5315212001116161034The American Film Institute lists their top 100 FUNNIEST movies.
*** More humor is sprinkled liberally throughout the rest of the issue. Keep reading. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
2. EXTRA-Special Event for Denver area Here's an event for singles that has it all: - No partner needed - VERY inexpensive - Lively, upbeat, fun - Chance to mix and mingle And it's coming up SOON, so check out the details NOW at http://www.selfnurture.com/dance-current-classes.htm ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ (((((((((((((( Special Deal -- Denver area )))))))))))))) As you'll see in http://www.selfnurture.com/dance.htm, yours truly is getting back into teaching dance. I know, I know, I said I was going to simplify my life - but teaching dance is so fun - and I need the exercise! Anyway, as a special offer - ONLY for "Upside" readers - if you book a private dance lesson in your home, I'll add an extra half-hour of instruction (in the same session) for FREE!!! Just mention you saw the offer in this eZine. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ (((((((((((((( Special Deal -- Denver area )))))))))))))) While we're talking about things that are good for your body (like dancing)... here's your chance to find out more about classical acupuncture and how it can help you. Call Janice Koski to see if you'd like a FREE Consultation. She's a Registered Nurse and Acupuncturist Intern. Just call her at 303-998-1066 and mention that you saw this in the Upside of Being Single eZine! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 3. Tools to Lose the Being Single Blues
"How to Have FUN at a Party (even when you didn't want to go)"
FEATURED TOOL:
Friendship with Others (Find the other tools listed on www.selfnurture.com ) I haven't gone to a New Year's Eve party in years. If you're not in a romantic relationship at New Years Eve, it's not much fun to be out with a lot of kissy-face couples smooching at midnight. Other deterrents were: drunk drivers, iffy weather, bad road conditions, Y2K, too much hype, an air of artificial or forced optimism. However - this year I decided to go to a party the singles group at my church sponsored. Much to my amazement, I had a fabulous time! One thing that really helped was that I left in time to be home to watch local firework displays from my balcony. That was fun, and then I was able to avoid the countdown to midnight and the embarrassing kissing tradition. Here are some of the things that helped make that party so enjoyable. Try some of these the next time you go to a party - especially if you feel shy or reluctant a about going.
***Women who want to dance When there's a shortage of men to dance with, try these ideas: Dance with other women. When they play rock-and-roll songs for freestyle (stand and wiggle) dancing, ask one or two or seven women to join you on the dance floor. If you know how to do salsa or cha cha, you can do those without holding your partner, too. Request popular line dance songs. Electric Slide and Macarena still get people up and dancing at parties. Be brave and ASK men to dance. They've been stuck with this intimidating task for years. If they can handle it, so can we!
***Women who want to meet men Scope out where the unattached men congregate. Often they're by the food or bar, sooo go hang out there. Introduce yourself to women at the party. It's less intimidating than introducing yourself to men, and with a stroke of luck the woman you've just met may have male friends who are "available." People will notice you and will start the conversation rolling if you wear something funky or outlandish. Try some kind of unusual or bright jewelry, scarf, or vest. A feather boa is great - as long as it's not shedding! Or carry a seductive fan; people will want to meet you so they can use it! Remember: All women are created equal - and then we accessorize. If nothing else, you can have fun checking out all the pretty dresses.
***Either gender Walk around as if you're looking for a friend. You're likely to meet more people if you circulate than if you stay at one table. Go to the party with some additional purpose. For example, perhaps you want to let people know about another event that's coming up. Or perhaps you're trying to start a book discussion group or a cooking group for singles. This gives you a great conversation starter, which could lead to something beyond the party! Use this party as a chance to learn a new dance step. If you don't want to wear a name tag, have a quip ready to help people remember your name. (Jean - like blue jeans, George - like the president, Fred - as in the Flintstones) When you meet someone, repeat his or her name during the conversation. You don't have to stay the whole time. Leave on a high point. Then you'll be more likely to want another experience.
***Party organizers Arrange to have designated Dance Hosts. The deejay or emcee can announce throughout the evening: "Ladies, if you want to dance, ask any of the men who are wearing red carnations (or Dance Host name tags). They are ready, willing, able, and pleased to dance with you." The Dance Hosts enjoy all the attention they'll get. And they don't worry about being rejected. The women feel comfortable asking a man to dance when he is a Dance Host. Have name tags available for the guests. If you want an idea for a mixer, mailto:JeanZartner@SelfNurture.com ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ (((((((((((((( Worried About Valentine's Day Blues? )))))))))))))) If you dread cupid's stupid card-selling, totally commercialized, couples-only "holiday," and want to talk about it, eMail me at mailto:JeanZartner@SelfNurture.com. I need to come up with some positive ways to "get through and thrive through" it myself and would like to brainstorm. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 4. The Horrible "Have To's" - and how to avoid them Whenever you catch yourself saying "have to" Reply to yourself: "Really? Do you really 'have to?'" Then ask yourself a series of questions (w/ practice you can get the sequence down to where the ones that usually stop the silly thinking are the first ones you ask - then you don't even need to go on to the next.
*** Can you... - postpone it? - do part of it later? - get help with it? - let it go?
*** Ask yourself... What's the worst that'll happen if you don't do this task that you told yourself you "have to" do? Will life still go on?
*** Change your self-talk... Instead of saying: "I have to get this done tonight." - Say one of these: "I'd love to get this done tonight." "I CHOOSE to get this done tonight." "It'll feel so good to get this done tonight." ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 5. Burning Questions You May Have About Your eZine (and answers beyond your wildest imaginings)
* What black hole did the Sep, Oct, Nov, and Dec issues disappear into? Hmmmmmm? Well, yours truly, the editor took ill for a few months. I'm bouncing back now, and boy, did I ever learn a lot about advanced self-nurturing techniques while I was ill. Actually, several good things have come out of the illness, but the one you'll notice is that the website is going to take on a whole new look and organization in the next few months. I'm sorry I didn't let you know what was going on - but on the other hand, those months of doing virtually nothing on the site or eZine helped me get some creativity and energy back! Hooray.
* What happened to Jean's assertion that the eZines would come out about once a month? Ha! My forced eZine sabbatical taught me about the Horrible "Have To's." (See the article later in this issue.) I am now going to send the eZine ONLY when I have time, energy, inspiration, and ideas to share. (It's hard to have all four of those at the same time!) But this way, I'm less likely to have poor health - which as you've seen - results in no eZine. And besides, by coming out sporadically, the mystery will stay in our relationship!
* How can I see issues 001 and 002 of this literary e-gem? One of the features on the new, improved site will be that the back issues of the eZine will be archived on the site. Hopefully, I'll have the link for you by the next eZine.
* Is it true that in late 1999 and early 2000 the Upside of Being Single was a bi-monthly PRINT newsletter - complete with graphics and photos? How can I get copies of these quaint antiquities? Yes, it's a historical fact! You can get these collectors' items if you mailto:JeanZartner@Selfnurture.com I can e-mail them as attachments - but WITHOUT photos and graphics (to save on file size). OR I can snail mail them- but then there will be a charge of $10.00 for the copies and postage.
* How far flung is the eZine's readership? We're excited to announce that we now have subscribers in: - United States - Canada - England - Saudi Arabia - Japan - Australia There may readers from other countries, but we can't tell from their eMail addresses. (Please tell us where you're from when you subscribe!) Thanks to Jennifer Louden and her website, www.comfortqueen.com for mentioning Selfnurture.com. That's where many of our eZine subscribers first heard about us. Jennifer's site is one of my favorites, and I highly recommend you visit it.
* The site and eZine often mention Denver, but not other cities. Why? I'm glad you asked because we're rectifying that parochial tendency! We're working towards a more global presence. If your singles group - ANYWHERE - has a website calendar of events you'd like us to feature, mailto:JeanZartner@Selfnurture.com .
* I'm breathless with anticipation for the boring, administrative, have-to-mention-in-every issue verbiage. Where is it? Where is it? Where is it? OK, calm down and scroll to the end of the issue. (By the way, it sounds as if you may need to get out more! See the section on
"How to Have FUN at a Party (even when you didn't want to go.")
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(((((((((((((( Website News )))))))))))))) When you go to www.selfnurture.com , please PARDON OUR DUST as I radically renovate it. Maybe I can get it to be more Feng Sui! If you've visited before, you'll see that I'm trying out new colors and new ways of organizing the site. As part of my plan to SIMPLIFY, I'm going to "close down" parts of the site as I re-do
them. Also, I'm not spending weeks to proofread before I put new pages on the Web. I'm going to be brave and just put them out there for you. When you find errors, problems, and links that don't work, please mailto:JeanZartner@Selfnurture.com . ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Now, as promised, here's the boring, administrative, have-to-mention-in-every issue verbiage: Please
mailto:JeanZartner@Selfnurture.com if you find typos, links that don't work,or other problems in your eZine. Thanks. If for any reason you do NOT want to receive the eZine (knocking me on my downside!), REPLY and put UNSUBSCRIBE in the Subject line. If however, you enjoy the eZine and want to share it - please forward it to single friends - and others - who want to learn to enjoy their lives more. If you are receiving this issue as a forward, and would like your own FREE
subscription, please put SUBSCRIBE in the Subject line of an eMail and mailto:JeanZartner@Selfnurture.com Also, (just for our curiosity) please tell us what city you live in or near. Thanks. Seeing double? If you received more than one issue, we apologize. Let us know, and we can correct that for you. Thanks! mailto:JeanZartner@Selfnurture.com PRIVACY STATEMENT: We will not sell or give your contact information to anyone without your permission.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Jean Zartner (d.b.a.) Selfnurture.com 7077 W. 84th Way, #123 Arvada, CO 80003 USA Phone: 303-940-7423 Fax: 208-330-3810 JeanZartner@Selfnurture.com http://www.Selfnurture.com ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Thanks so much for staying till THE END of this eZine!
